Miss More

The Truth About Abusive Relationships

In Views On Life on 01/04/2013 at 8:51 PM

Hey it’s me again, what’s up, what’s good? Hope you guys had a nice Easter. Welcome to the new real talk & what we’re gonna be talking about today is abusive relationships, this is my take…

I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t like bullshit from anybody & you can catch me speaking to my friends about how I won’t take nonsense from none of these boys & I’d love for them to raise their hands at me so that I can teach them a lesson they’ll never forget. And I always tell my friends “don’t let me find out that your boyfriend isn’t treating you right, cause I will slap some sense into you”. So yeah that’s my attitude towards domestic abuse, but recently I’ve been thinking that I may have that kind of attitude but God forbid if I do come across an abusive man, I don’t know how I’d act.

I may just do the complete opposite of what I think I would do and that prospect scares me because strong women get into these relationships, women that just don’t fit that abused girlfriend/wife category. Some of them hide if from friends and families for years for many different reasons, some of them die with that secret, some of them die because of that secret. This is why If feel that me, as a friends needs to keep a close eye on my loved one so that if I ever have the slightest suspicion, I can pull her or him out of that situation effective immediately because I may be the only person that could save them from that life. The other thing is, we all need to understand that it can happen to anyone, even you.

An abusive man or woman doesn’t tell you on the first date that they are abusive and violent and have no problem smacking the shit out of you because they can. Abuse starts slowly, when you’re gonna eat something hot or cold, you don’t just stuff your mouth immediately, you take it slowly. That’s how abusive people work, one step at time, there’s no need to rush. They may start verbally and then to move on to bigger things and before you know it, you are in the abused girlfriend/boyfriend club. This means that when you get into a relationship, you need to wave goodbye the minute they try to fuck around with you in any way, cause yes, it may not lead to domestic abuse but they would still take advantage of you being so lenient and fuck around with you for a while or for ages and when they get bored and take all they can, they’ll just drop like a hot plate.

So back to topic. In the previous paragraph I said “ and have no problem smacking the shit out of you because they can” and this is very significant because this is the truth about abusive relationships, the abuser abuses the person, because they can, and why can they do that: it’s because the abused let’s them. Yes, you’ve read right. Although the abuser exercises control, the person who truly has it is the abused. This is because, no one can fuck you around without your consent. Simple mathematics. Once the abuser gets the consent, it’s over – until you decide that you aint living like that anymore. But the thing is, the longer you stay, the harder it is to break free. So dear reader, the first time they hit you is one too many. When they say “it won’t happen again” be like “damn right it won’t happen again, because we’re over and done, bitch”

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Stay beautiful, Love, Miss More.

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  1. Good points here. I’d like to think that I’m someone who would NEVER tolerate abuse in an intimate relationship, but it’s not that simple. I actually don’t like it when people say “why don’t you just leave?” because it’s way more complicated than that. In fact, it can often be a very dangerous thing to “just leave.” There is a progression, you’re right. Many women don’t know what they are getting into until it’s too late.

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