Miss More

Friends, Family & Trust

In Views On Life on 02/03/2013 at 4:26 PM

Hey, It’s me again. In my opinion this blog has so far purely focused on entertainment, I’ve been talking about whores & TV shows & books and what not but I haven’t really talked about what I call real topics, the ones that you can actually sit down, jokes aside and think about. So now I’m starting my first series on thing thing… Real Talks. I’m gonna put one up in the first 7 days of each month. Most probably the first day but I’m gonna be safe here. So let’s get this show on the road…

It’s about to get real.

I have this really strange relationship with people and trust. I learnt, from a very young age that the people who are closest to you are the ones who have the power and potential to hurt you the most. This observation always has me trying to no get attached to people too much. It’s not like I’m paranoid, I’m just very aware of people & motives & I’m very particular about who I trust. To be honest I do not trust anybody expect for my parents 100% ,  I dare say not even 90%  and you know what it’s nothing personal. Frankly, I trust my friends more than I trust some of my family, why? It’s because of my personal experiences on my mum’s side & also hearing the messed shit that some of them did to her & also watching other peoples families. I came to England (where my dad’s side lives) at at that tween stage & you know when you have these things in your head very early on, they will stay with you for life.

The thing about family is that, they have no choice but to be there for you but friends have a choice. Every single person that I talk to, I like. It doesn’t matter how small or how little I speak to them, I genuinely like them for them. Don’t get me wrong I like all my family too, except for this one cousin that just hates me for no reason. But the thing is in many instances, many people have no choice but to like their family.

Nobody has the same relationship with two different people. So of course within my “friend pool” I have people that I trust  more than others, and again it’s nothing personal, it’s just that we have built up a friendship where we know certain things about one another that we probably would never tell other friends. Trust and friendship in general are work in progress, they will always continue to grow, and they all grow at their own unique rates. I may be closer to Friend A than I am to Friend B but that’s not because I like Friend A more that B it’s just because my friendship with A has developed in a different way than B and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I do not believe in second chances. Once you have broken my trust you and I are never gonna be the same way ever again. In severe cases we are done. But in most we are on a “hi” & “bye” basis. I also do not deal with all this BFF nonsense. I just have a circle of people who would be in the running for my “best friend”, M, Moonlight, Teddy Bear, Kayla, Cath (the first two are nicknames by the way ad for  Teddy Bear you just had to be there). But that doesn’t mean that I value these five more than I value the rest of my friends, because I don’t roll like that. Each of my friends are very precious to me, even the ones that I recently met, my college peoples as I call them. I already know which ones are gonna be in my life for a long time & the ones that I am friends with because of circumstance but I still love all of them and treat them equally and I trust them equally too, even though I probably don’t act on that trust by telling them some serious shit about me.

I’m the kind of person who trusts you until you give me reason not to. I will believe you  until I find a reason not to. I am a “benefit of doubt” kind of girl, as long that “benefit” agrees with common sense. I am ready for people to disappoint me, hurt me, stab me in the back, betray me & frig all but I hope they don’t & that’s the most I can do. Honestly, I think it’s a smart state of mind. Always be ready for those close to you, to fuck you over. That way you can quickly wrap your head around it, get over it and move the hell on. If all my friends decide to stop speaking to me or if I found out that they all hated me, I would be upset for like a day & then I’d be pissed off that they wasted my time for so long & then I’d move the fuck on. Simple! Call me cold hearted, paranoid, call me whatever you want, I’m calling my self realistic.

Stay beautiful. Love, Miss More.

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  1. Yes my nickname has been mentioned. Totally agree with you, when you have a lot of time to think about friends and family this is usually the conclusion. No one really wants their friends to suddenly turn against them but you must be prepared for it. As stated in this post everyone has the ability to betray you and Friend A might know less personal information than Friend B because that’s the way it is. Think you nailed it, your post deserves a tremendous amount of credit. Some may call you paranoid but i call you realistic

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